I have spent most of the past week trying to shake off a particularly tenacious cold. I'm usually quick to shake them off, but this feels like some mutant covid hangover. Very achy. The days start well but by the evening it has rallied again. It's left me feeling drained, and it is in this feeble state that I've been watching the internet reach a hysterical crescendo on the subject of AI. It is no longer coming for your job, it is here and ready to take it. I am reminded of the "THEY'RE HERE!" trailer for Poltergeist, only this time it isn't ghosts that are going to fuck your life up, it's tech billionaires. Is this a form of a mass psychosis? It certainly feels like something big is coming. As a software engineer, this year more than ever it seems like the coming wave is something that I have to figure out how to surf or get wiped out. It's existentially terrifying.
If you are also feeling unglued from your previously imagined future, allow me to recommend some places to escape from the coming white-collar apocalypse.
A CAVE
This is the classic retreat from modernity, as demonstrated by hermits through the ages. With no electricity there's no danger of accidentally doomscrolling the day away on X. I would recommend one somewhere in the warmer parts of Europe as the cave winters can be brutal. Since you'll be avoiding all human contact the language barrier won't be an issue. You can even put a sheet across the cave's entrance to give yourself an extra level of abstraction from the real world.
A BUNKER
AKA a new build cave. This comes with all the exorbitant costs of new build accommodation. On the other hand, bunkers are hot now, albeit very billionaire-coded. They are most likely outside your budget unless you can acquire an old missile silo in the middle of nowhere. A great hack for acquiring a bunker is to get employed as private security for a billionaire. When they inevitably screw the global pooch and retreat to the perceived safety of their own bunker, it will only be a short time before their head of security kills the now powerless idiot who hired them. Stay on his good side and you're golden.
A DESERT ISLAND
Another classic isolation destination. People usually end up there by mistake, which suggests they are easy to chance upon. There is a real danger that the island will sink as increasingly massive server farms accelerate global warming and melt glacial ice. The weather's bound to be good though. Pack a hat.
ANTARCTICA
The aforementioned global warming should make the place a bit more hospitable. The penguins can be quite noisy and the smell of their guano takes some getting used to, so take both ear and nose plugs. On the positive side, I am 100% confident that no penguin will ever be mad enough to add AI to MS Notepad.
THE MOON / MARS / SPACE IN GENERAL
The ultimate isolation but difficult to achieve. Also there is a non-zero chance that you find yourself stuck with Elon Musk.
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