Imber is a village in Wiltshire that is almost as imaginary as the virtual city of Los Santos in GTA V. Evacuated for use as a training ground for the forthcoming Normandy invasion in WWII, it was never returned to its population, and now remains the property of the MOD and is strictly off-limits to civilians. Once a year though, it returns like a haunted village through the quite strange yet wonderful event that is Imber Bus. The central idea of Imber Bus is this: once a year, a special bus service runs from nearby Warminster, shuttling passengers to and from Imber, taking in other villages on the way. The latter part is important, as the MOD has pretty much blown all the village up at this point. Only the church remains. The only other buildings are specially constructed shells of modern houses, presumably in preparation for the invasion of Milton Keynes. The other villages are picturesque and the buses are mostly an ad-hoc fleet of vintage buses from around the company, and herein lies the charm of the day. There's something quite astonishing about a line of red routemasters winding their way along a country lane on a summer's day. Like the village at the centre of the event, there is a sense of things being out of place that would be a stretch to call thrilling, but I'm going to call it that nonetheless. It's wholesome fun.
Wholesome fun is where my brain yanks at the handbrake and makes a violent left turn. Naturally. I mean, there are only so many cream teas I can enjoy before mind starts to wander. What if there were a game in the Grand Theft Auto series set in Imber? The concept is simple enough. We know what the map looks like because you get handed one when you get your ticket. And we know what the vehicles are, they're a variety of vintage buses that you can steal and create general mayhem with. In fact filling in the details is so mundane that I got an AI to do it.
To start with, here's a screenshot according to Bing Image Creator:
Here's a list of features as generated by ChatGPT:
- Explore a vast open-world environment set in the picturesque English countryside, featuring rolling hills, winding roads, quaint villages, and bustling market towns.
- Take on the role of a vintage bus driver, operating a variety of classic buses from the 1950s, 60s, and 70s, each with its unique handling, speed, and capacity.
- Complete a range of missions and tasks that test your driving skills, such as transporting passengers to their destinations, participating in racing events, delivering goods and supplies, and more.
- Customize and upgrade your buses with a range of parts and accessories, such as engines, transmissions, brakes, tires, and paint jobs, to enhance their performance and appearance.
- Build and manage your own vintage bus company, hiring drivers, purchasing new buses, and expanding your business across the countryside.
- Interact with a cast of characters, including fellow bus drivers, passengers, shopkeepers, and other residents of the countryside, each with their unique personalities, backstories, and motivations.
- Engage in both legal and illegal activities, such as smuggling contraband, evading the police, and engaging in high-speed chases with rival bus companies.
- Earn money, reputation, and other rewards for completing missions, winning races, and building your business, which can be used to purchase new buses, upgrade your facilities, and unlock new areas of the countryside.
- Experience a dynamic, living world that changes over time, with weather effects, day-night cycles, and seasonal changes that affect both gameplay and the environment.
- Enjoy a rich and immersive soundtrack, featuring classic rock and roll, folk, and country music from the 1950s and 60s, as well as original compositions inspired by the English countryside.
Have another screenshot, this time with explosions:
I asked ChatGPT to write a positive review of the game:
GTA: Imber is a thrilling and immersive open-world game that offers a unique and refreshing take on the GTA-style genre. Set in the idyllic English countryside and featuring a range of classic buses from the 1950s to the 1970s, this game delivers a compelling and engaging experience that will keep players hooked for hours.
The game's graphics are stunning, capturing the beauty and charm of the English countryside with remarkable attention to detail. The different seasons and weather effects add a level of realism and immersion that is rare in open-world games, and the soundtrack is equally impressive, featuring a range of classic rock and roll, folk, and country music that perfectly complements the game's setting.
One of the game's strongest points is its gameplay, which offers a perfect balance of challenge and fun. The driving mechanics are realistic and responsive, requiring skill and precision to master, while the missions and tasks are varied and engaging, offering a range of challenges that keep the game fresh and exciting.
Another standout feature is the game's customization and upgrade system, which allows players to customize and enhance their buses in a variety of ways, from upgrading their engines and transmissions to changing their paint jobs and accessories. This adds a level of personalization and creativity to the game that is rare in the genre.
The game's open-world environment is vast and filled with a range of characters and activities, from fellow bus drivers and passengers to shopkeepers and police officers. The game's story is engaging and well-written, offering a range of interesting and memorable characters that players will grow to care about.
Overall, GTA: Imber is a must-play game for fans of open-world games, driving games, and fans of the GTA-style genre. Its unique setting, engaging gameplay, and immersive world make it a standout game that is sure to entertain and delight players for hours on end. While there are a few minor issues with the game's controls and AI, these are easily overlooked in light of the game's many strengths. I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for a fun and engaging gaming experience.
Next I thought it could supply a sample soundtrack:
- "A Hard Day's Night" by The Beatles
- "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac
- "Lola" by The Kinks
- "Dreams" by The Cranberries
- "I Fought the Law" by The Clash
- "Parklife" by Blur
- "Waterloo Sunset" by The Kinks
- "London Calling" by The Clash
- "Wonderwall" by Oasis
- "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis
- "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen
- "Alright" by Supergrass
- "Going Underground" by The Jam
- "Common People" by Pulp
- "Angels" by Robbie Williams
This tracklisting features a mix of classic and contemporary British bands and captures the spirit of the game's setting and theme. The tracks are designed to evoke a sense of nostalgia and adventure, while also providing an upbeat and energetic soundtrack to accompany the player's journeys through the English countryside.
Too much Oasis but otherwise not a bad stab.
I asked it for a box quote In the style of Charlie Brooker:
"Vintage Bus Driver: It's like taking a slow ride through the English countryside, except you get to smash things up and curse like a sailor. All the fun of road rage without the pesky legal consequences."
- Charlie Brooker, TV critic and master of dark humour.
Robo-Charlie is definitely phoning it in there.
Finally, no GTA game release is complete without some moral outrage, so I asked it to write a Daily Mail article expressing their disapproval:
"Outrageous! Video game celebrates violence, crime and debauchery"
The release of the controversial video game, Vintage Bus Driver, has sparked widespread outrage among parents and concerned citizens alike. The game's depictions of violence, crime and immoral behaviour have been deemed unacceptable by many, who argue that it glamorizes a dangerous and harmful lifestyle.
Players assume the role of a vintage bus driver, but instead of focusing on driving and adhering to the rules of the road, the game encourages players to commit violent crimes, engage in illicit activities and use foul language. This game is a menace to society and a danger to our youth.
As if that wasn't enough, the game also features sexualized content and drug use, sending a terrible message to young and impressionable minds. It is disgraceful that a game like this is even allowed to exist in our society.
Parents, teachers, and concerned citizens alike are calling for an immediate ban on this sick filth. We cannot allow our children to be exposed to such immoral behaviour and values. It is time for action, and it is time for the government to step in and put an end to this madness.
We urge all responsible adults to boycott this game and join us in our fight to protect our children from this harmful and immoral content. Together, we can make a difference and ensure that our society remains a safe and positive environment for our children to grow up in.
Imber Bus is on Saturday the 19th of August 2023. You can find more details here: https://imberbus.org/
Please do not attempt to steal the buses.
